Seven Deadly Challenges at the Weight Room
September 5, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
How is your work-out working out for you these days? Studies show that many people who start at the gym with every good intention are nowhere to be found within a few months. Why is it that so many well-intended people drop out and disappear from fitness? My hunch is that people drop out from going to the gym for similar reasons that they drop out from going to church. They may find the times inconvenient, the child care inadequate, the music too loud, too soft, too slow, or too fast, the temperature too hot or too cold, the people too cold or intrusive, the instructor/pastor too busy or controlling.
Virtually everyone that I know nowadays believes in the value of keeping physically fit. It has been drilled into us by our doctors, teachers, media, and family. Yet so many of us fall short of our personal health goals. I sense that a lot of people have transferred their guilt about not attending church enough to a new guilt about not attending the weight room enough. Guilt, shame, and fear paralyze us in our unhealthy procrastination and avoidance of physical and spiritual growth. Guilt, shame and fear feed our addictions and unhealthy life choices. I have known people who felt so guilty about not attending the gym or church that they have overeaten, over-drank, and over-indulged. More guilt is not the solution to our health issues.
So how can we be set free from our spiritual and physical couch-potato tendencies? Dr. Gil Stieglitz says that a great way to get healthy is to memorize the seven deadly sins and then daily measure our current behaviour by those seven criteria. The first deadly sin/challenge is Pride, which Dr. Gil defines as ‘feelings of superiority, self-absorption, and lack of teachability.’ Sometimes people don’t make it to the gym or church because we have become self-satisfied and unwilling to grow.
The second deadly sin is Envy which Dr. Gil defines as ‘the desire for what belongs to others’. I have been guilty of that sin many times at the gym. Why is it taking me so long to get in shape physically or spiritually when others around me seem so healthy? Sometimes the puny size of my weights or my prayer life can tempt me to not bother to try.
The third deadly sin is Anger which Dr. Gil defines as ‘being blocked from a goal, irritated, seething’. The person we usually feel most angry at is ourselves, angry that we are not losing weight quickly enough, not improving fast enough, angry that it is taking so long to become Christ-like and loving. You may have heard the angry comment that the church or gym is full of hypocrites, to which I say ‘there is always room for one more hypocrite’.
The fourth deadly sin is Lust, which is far more than just sexual. It is really about the need to have it all our way immediately. Many of us give up on the gym and church, because it is taking too long to achieve our goals. We want it all right now! Getting healthy takes time!
The fifth deadly sin is Sloth which Dr. Gil defines as ‘laziness, working with a minimum effort, procrastination’. Going to Church or the gym requires effort, time, and money. It is often tempting to give in to our feelings of tiredness, discouragement and fear. Why bother to try? The Tempter wants us to be physically and spiritually healthy, as long we do it next month, not this month.
The sixth deadly sin is Gluttony which Dr. Gil 
defines as ‘overindulgence, addiction, seeking comfort’. Many people feel so embarrassed about their body or soul that they won’t even try. It’s just too painful.
The seventh deadly sin is Greed which Dr. Gil defines as ‘longing after money and things’. Greedy people will refuse to go to church or the gym, claiming that ‘all the church/gym wants is your money’. In fact the gym and church are there for our health, and our health is worth every penny that we invest. What use is wealth without health? See you at God’s Gym!
The Rev. Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
-previously published in the North Shore News
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
Fit for the Master
September 3, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
Many homes have beautiful dining rooms specially set apart for guests. My family always uses the dining room for Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays. I have noticed that the dining room for most families has its own traditions. “Go to a fine home”, says Dr. Thomas Oden, “and you will see that there are two types of silverware- the good silver and the utensils for daily use. There are the beautiful articles that have been kept for generations and will be passed on as heirlooms…”
This distinction between utensils seems to be hardwired into us. To illustrate this point, just try your family’s silver punchbowl for scrubbing the floor, and see if you have any reaction from your wife or mother.
The Good Book says in 2nd Timothy 2:20 that ‘in a large house there are vessels not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble.” The Good Book also teaches that we can choose what kind of vessels that we are going to be, whether we are used for the dining room or scrubbing the floor
The key to being used in the dining room is catharsis, the Greek word for cleansing. The Hebrew word ‘Kosher’ simply means ‘clean’. Like my father, I actually enjoy cleaning the dishes, one of my few kitchen abilities! Raymond Collins commented that a person is like a dish insofar as both have to be clean in order to be put to another use. Have you ever been served food on a dish that was not cleansed from the last person who used it?
In the East African/Rwandan revival, people were thought of as each holding a water pot. Our heavenly Father wants to fill us with the water of life, but cannot or will not do so if our water pots are defiled by sin, anger, self-pity or impurity. As the famous song puts it, “Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord! Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.” The Good Book says in 2nd Timothy 2:21 that if a person cleanses himself, he will be fit for the Master.
Now is a great time to cleanse ourselves from anything that will keep us from being fit for the Master. Keeping fit is God’s better way, physically, mentally and spiritually. Many people go to Fitness classes. Have you ever thought of going to church as God’s fitness class, as God’s gym? Our congregation of St. Simon’s even worships in a gym! God wants you fit as a fiddle, fit for the master, useful for every good work.
If each of us are willing to do the work of catharsis, cleansing ourselves from bitterness, self-pity, anger, guilt, shame, and fear, then God will invite us into his dining room and make use of us at his family meals. Can you think of a more fitting place to be?
The Rev. Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
-previously published in the North Shore News
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
Breaking the Power of Shame
August 18, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
The teenaged Roman Emperor Nero started off in AD 57 as a idealistic reformer, banning capital punishment. He forbade killing in circus contests, emphasizing instead athletics, poetry, and theater. He reduced taxes and permitted slaves to file complaints against unjust masters. But absolute power absolutely corrupted him.
Nero was born at Antium (Anzio), Italy, on December 15th 37 A.D. His father, who died when Nero was age 3, was a great-grandson of Caesar Augustus – the Roman emperor at the time of the birth of Jesus Christ (Luke 2:1).
Nero’s mother Agrippina rescued her son Nero from poverty by marrying her uncle, the emperor Claudius. Agrippina managed to get Nero adopted not only as a son of Claudius, but the heir to the throne before Claudius’ actual sons. To show her gratitude, she poisoned her husband/uncle with tainted mushrooms. Nero became the emperor of the mighty Roman empire at the age of 17.
One year after Nero became Emperor, he got tired of his mother’s interfering, and had her removed from the palace. Four years later she still kept meddling, so Nero rigged her boat to collapse on her. Being a strong swimmer, Agrippina refused to drown, so Nero had to 
send soldiers in to finish the job. There is a famous painting by John William Waterhouse where Nero is lying on his bed feeling remorseful for taking his mother out but any remorse did not slow him down for long. As murder can be rather addictive, Nero proceeded to present the gift of an ex-wife’s severed head to a future wife, and then kick another wife to death while she was pregnant.
Nero’s most memorable accomplishment was burning much of Rome to the ground to make room for a new palace. After six days of Rome burning, Nero discovered the value of blaming a small Jewish group called Christians. Their ringleader, the Apostle Paul, was thrown into a Roman dungeon, to prepare for his imminent beheading. If these early Christians refused to renounce their faith, Nero had them thrown to the lions, crucified, or set on fire and used as garden-party lighting.
Christianity looked as if it would be obliterated from the face of the earth. But Paul from prison wrote a second letter to his chosen successor Timothy, ‘rallying the troops’. He said to Timothy: “Don’t be ashamed to bear witness for the Lord or Paul his prisoner”. He encouraged the naturally timid Timothy not to be ashamed of Paul’s chains. Paul, though about to be exterminated, said to Timothy: “I am not ashamed, for I know whom I believe”.
Breaking the power of shame is absolutely vital to living a free and healthy life. All of us have at least one Nero in our life who would like to enslave us, entrap us, and fill us with shame. It may be our relatives, our boss, our ex-spouse, our own personal addictions to fear, guilt, anger. By breaking the power of shame and self-hatred, we can live fully without regret. The key, said Paul, to breaking the power of shame, is in ‘knowing whom we believe’.
I would challenge each one reading this article to no longer let our personal Neros cover our faces with shame. Live free. Live forgiven. Live in the healing embrace of the One who gave everything so that you might really live.
The Rev. Ed Hird
Rector, St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
More Blessed To Give
August 10, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
Worry, fear, and anger are the greatest disease-causers. They can literally eat us alive, from the inside out. The root of most anger is fear. Many males feel safer and more powerful being angry than in facing their fears. Dr. E. Stanley Jones, best-selling author of 28 books, spoke of the law of self-abandonment by which we are able to say: ‘I do not want anything, therefore I am afraid of nothing.’ Similarly he said that ‘there are two ways to be rich – one in the abundance of your possessions and the other in the fewness of your wants.’
“People”, said ES Jones, “retire to enjoy their wealth. Nothing is more elusive and fatuous. You cannot enjoy your wealth. Your wealth must be creative in creating and in augmenting the joy of others, or else it is ill-th, not weal-th.” Mammon/money drives the driven and lashes the tired. At age sixty-five there are twice as many women alive as men. The medical verdict is ‘high blood pressure’, but E. Stanley Jones saw it as ‘high blood-money pressure’ which drives men mad or to the mortuary.
ES Jones spoke of ‘the two greatest problems of life, namely, money and women’ (i.e. male-female relationships). Counselors tell us that the three greatest causes of marriage breakup are sex, money, and in-laws! Jones believed that ‘our greatest sins are economic sins, sins so hidden under respectability and under custom that we are scarcely aware of them.’ Quoting the counselor Dr. Alfred Adler, Jones commented: “All the ills of personality can be traced back to the fact that people do not understand the meaning of the phrase: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’.
Jones humorously commented that some people suffer from a spiritual headache because unsurrendered wealth is pressing on the nerve that leads to the pocketbook. He tells the remarkable story of Asa G. Candler. Candler kept struggling unsuccessfully with his addiction to alcohol until he heard a Vo
ice tell him to surrender himself. From that hour, he was delivered not only from the desire to drink, but also from the love of money. Asa Candler, who founded the Coca Cola Company, was so grateful to Jesus that he consistently gave seventy-five percent of his vast income to God’s work. Candler believed that ‘the central thing in Christianity is the final and total yielding of the self, its renunciation and rejection and the entire surrender of the life to the will and way of God.’
ES Jones believes that “the greatest singlefactor that keeps people from going on to perfection is the deceitfulness of riches, for no one ever feels that it is a danger to him.” It has been said that we need two conversions: one of our heart and a second one of our wallet. ES Jones told the story of a poverty-stricken boy named Colgate met a steamboat captain who encouraged him to give his heart to Jesus and give one tenth of all he made to Him. The boy promised both, and through his Colgate Toothpaste Company, ended up giving millions to serving others.
Jones believed that abundant living depends upon abundant giving. He knew that outflow determined inflow. If we don’t breathe out, we can’t breathe in and we will literally smother. Similarly, said Jones, if a cow is not milked, it will go dry. How many of us may have gone through times of spiritually dryness because our financial udder needed milking?
Jones once said that ‘wealth is like manure: put in one pile it is a stinking mass, but distributed across the fields it produces golden grain.’ Jones took seriously the biblical call in 2 Corinthians 9:7 to be a ‘hilarious giver’. He knew that it is wrong to give out of fear, guilt, 
or pressure. Only joyful gratitude to God will do. God is always more generous, more self-giving, more loving than we will ever be. I thank God for the many generous people I know who have discovered that it is truly more blessed to give than to receive.
The Rev. Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-previously published in the North Shore News
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
Saying No to Abuse
July 22, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
It takes courage to say ‘No’. It takes courage to stand up against abuse. Over the years, I have met many people in abusive situations who have paid a great price to eventually extricate themselves from the vicious cycle of manipulation and recrimination.
Sexual and physical abuse, in particular, scars the victim deeply. Often the victims falsely blame themselves. Recovery from abuse involves breaking the conspiracy of silence and deception perpetrated by abusers. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, we are as sick as our secrets. Only the truth, however painful, can really set us free. Secrecy keeps us chained to our abusers.
Part of the cycle of abuse is that abusers are very skilled at blaming the victim. Many abuse victims internalize these false accusations and begin to blame themselves. Sexual abuse victims often carry a false sense of guilt and shame. Breaking false shame off victims can be very liberating. Sometimes scripture can help release people from such self-rejection: ‘You are already clean because of my word spoken to you’ (John 15:3) and ‘Do not call unclean that which God has made clean’ (Acts 10:15). All of us need to experience the cleansing stream of God’s Holy Spirit. All of us need to be washed with the water of the Word, removing our stains and blemishes (Ephesians 5:27). All of us need catharsis in our daily lives.
Abusers exercise ongoing control over their victims through fear and guilt. The heart of all addiction is the cycle of fear and guilt. Breaking the cycle of manipulation will release massive breakthrough in a person’s life. As the Good Book puts it, perfect love casts out all fear. Breaking the power of fear is critical to putting the abuse victim on a stable footing. Abusers are always destabilizing the victim’s environment, causing them to ‘walk on eggshells’. Abusers will often use ‘divide and conquer’ techniques that cuts the victim off from their natural support network.
God’s truth through Scripture can be most helpful here. It is not by accident that the phrase ‘Do not fear’ is used over 365 times in the Bible, at least once for every day of the year. As Timothy was once reminded, God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) . God’s gift of ‘a sound mind’ is key to removing ‘stinking thinking’ and giving us instead peace that passes all understanding. God hasn’t given us a spirit that makes us a slave again to fear but rather has given us the Spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15). The key to breaking fear is realizing that in Jesus, we are adopted, we are chosen, we are accepted in the beloved. Nothing can cast us away from his loving arms.
Abusers specialize in condemning their victims as bad and unworthy of acceptance. The Good Book in contrast says that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Breaking the power of condemnation releases great joy into the lives of abuse victims. No longer do they need to falsely accuse themselves and beat themselves up. Instead they learn to accept themselves in Christ’s love. When the manipulative power of fear and condemnation is broken, victims can become victors in remarkable unexpected ways. Creativity becomes released. Healthy boundaries become re-established. Abusers lose their power to control and entrap others. Victims stop enabling the very behaviours that keep them enslaved.
It all starts when people stop rewarding 
abusers and start blowing the whistle on them, when people say no to manipulation, say no to fear and guilt, say no to the ways of death and destruction. It takes courage to reach out to the support networks around you, whether to your teacher, doctor, social worker, counsellor or pastor, but it is well worth it. It is not your fault. You deserve better. Say no to abuse. Say yes to life. You are worth it. You are loved.
Two resources that I would recommend in your recovery from abuse are Dr. James Dobson’s book ‘Love Must Be Tough’ and Dr. Townsend & McCloud’s best-selling ‘Boundaries’ book. My prayer for each person reading this article is that we and our families will be given the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference, in Jesus’ name.
The Reverend Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘ED HIRD, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
Nothing Can Separate Us…
July 11, 2010
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By Rev Ed Hird
My family and I watched ‘Tagged’, a Canadian 
movie on CTV about Jonathan Wamback, a 16 year old boy who was mercilessly bullied, beaten and left for dead. Repeatedly kicked in the head with steel-toe boots, Jonathan’s skull was shattered, and he almost died three times on the way to surgery. After spending his 16th summer in a coma, he miraculously gradually recovered. When Jonathan was well enough, he had this overwhelming desire to go back to the very high school where he had been so badly bullied and rejected. This gripping movie ends with Jonathan courageously walking back into school like a wounded bird that would not go away. Nothing could separate Jonathan from his school.
Watching the re-enactment of Jonathan being kicked in the head brought back vivid memories of myself being kicked in the head at the same age while surrounded by a frenzied gang. Fortunately for me, I was able to jump on my 10-speed Pugeot and escape before it was too late. But my ears ached and rang for days after that. Ashamed, separated, and slimed by that bullying, I never told my parents until years later.
Years later I now realize that I had nothing to be ashamed of, and in fact could just as easily have ended up in hospital like Jonathan Wamback. Bullying kills. Bullying shames. Bullying steals life and joy from others.
I thank God for Jonathan Wamback who would not let bullies separate him from his school and his friends. Bullying can so easily fill us with fear and bitterness. It can so easily separate us from the most important things in our life.
Until I could forgive my attacker, I was actually in bondage to him spiritually and emotionally. Once I could begin to forgive him, I began to be free. I learnt that unforgiveness and bitterness is like a wall that separates people from our life. My desire for revenge created a spiritual apartheid that left me cut off and shut down. When I met Jesus Christ in Grade 12, I experienced such forgiveness and joy that my family initially worried about me. Later they came to see that this new inner peace was more than one more passing fad. The wall of emotional apartheid, created by bullying, was gone.
This amazing inner peace has taught me that nothing can separate me from those I love. Nothing can separate me from those who care for me. Nothing can separate me from the things that really matter in life. Nothing can separate me from my faith and deepest values. I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the 
present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38). No bully, no bitterness, no bigotry can rob me of love, can rob me of faith, can rob me of forgiveness in Jesus Christ.
My prayer for those reading this article is that nothing will separate us from the amazing love of God found in Jesus Christ.
The Reverend Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
Breaking the Suicide Addiction
July 1, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
Did you know that suicide has become the No. 2 killer of teenagers in North America? Suicide is a taboo subject that no one wants to talk about. It may frighten us; yet it has to be faced. In North America the suicide rate for male teens aged 15 to 19 has increased to 3 times the 1967 rate (2 ½ times increase for females).
So what can we do about teen suicide? How can we get the help to teens who really need it? Well, first of all, we need to know what the causes of suicide are. Why do people do it? Experts say that there are five main causes of suicide:
Severe feelings of guilt and hostility towards others
Punishing others through suicide
Emotional illness (35% of suicides involve severe depression and temporary insanity)
Physical illness such as cancer (40% of men who commit suicide and 20% of women)
Losses such as death of loved ones, or financial ruin
Camus, the famous philosopher, once said that there is but one philosophic problem and that is suicide. It revolves around life’s apparent meaninglessness, despair, and absurdity.
I think Camus has a point. You see, life sometimes can feel very unfair, very abusive, and very cruel. Life can often destroy your dreams, and make you wish that you’d never been born. For some people, they never feel 
any suicide temptation. Some others feel it very infrequently. There are others who feel these emotions on a regular basis. They may have never acted on those feelings, but the feelings still haunt them.
Every time those feelings come, it becomes a major struggle to once again choose life and renounce the powers of death. The suicide temptation is often an addiction. Anything becomes an addiction when it controls our lives, when no matter how much we dislike the activity, we seem to return to it again and again. I believe that Jesus Christ, through counseling and prayer, can break the power of any addiction. But it’s not easy. There’s no such thing as a quickie cure.
The root of addiction is none other than fear and guilt. All addictions, whether to suicide or whatever, are fed by bondage to fear and guilt. The more fearful we become, the guiltier we become, the greater control the addiction to suicide gets over us.
The cycle may go like this. Say you’ve had a very depressing week, your teacher flunked you, your parents grounded you, your girlfriend dropped you, your baseball coach cut you, and your car died on you. In the midst of this depression, you may begin to feel; “What’s the use? I wish I wasn’t alive”.
Suicide addiction can easily set in at this point. First of all, you feel guilty that you just felt that way. Secondly, you may feel fear that those feelings will become worse. So you just try to avoid these suicide feelings and shut them out of your mind. But it doesn’t work and you just feel more guilty. Winning over temptation by mental avoidance never works.
Another thing that increases the suicide 
addiction is that when we feel guilty about these feelings, we’re too embarrassed to have God around. We feel too unclean, too unspiritual; so without fully realizing it, we ask God to leave the room and wait outside until the temptation is over.
This, of course, makes us feel even more rejected and guilty. Then we feel abandoned by God just when we need him. The old saying, “If you don’t feel close to God, guess who moved?” is still true. But we tend to say to ourselves; If God abandons me when I really need him, why bother to fight it. I’m not worth it. Why resist it?”
So then we take the other step of self-abandonment. We abandon ourselves to the hopelessness of wallowing in our suicide feelings, and to an ever-increasing vicious cycle of fear and guilt.
How then does Jesus break the addiction of suicide? Jesus breaks the addiction by 
breaking the power of guilt and fear. By dying on the cross as the forsaken one, as the abandoned one, He exchanges His cleanness for our uncleanness. He was abandoned and forsaken so that we need never feel abandoned or forsaken. You may remember that He died on the cross, saying ” My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus became grieved and distressed, saying “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death”. In Gethsemane and on the cross, he took our agony, our guilt, our depression, our fear, so that we don’t have to be stuck with that garbage any more.
The Bible says that Jesus has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). That means that Jesus allowed Himself to feel the awful pull to death and suicide, and
then he broke its power on the Cross. In an allegorical sense, you could say that Jesus “committed suicide” on the cross so that we don’t have to.
As a result you don’t need to punish yourself anymore. Jesus took your punishment. You don’t need to condemn yourself anymore. “Now there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1). You don’t need to be consumed with fear any more. “Perfect Love casts out all fear.” (I John 4:18)
Some of you reading this may be secretly struggling with suicide feelings. Some of you feel very guilty and fearful about it. I challenge you to give these feelings to Jesus and accept his offer of forgiveness.
I challenge you to seek professional counseling and really give Christ a chance to do some long-term personal healing. “Choose life that you may live in the love of the Lord.”
The Reverend Ed Hird, Rector
St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver
Anglican Mission in the Americas (Canada)
http://stsimonschurch.ca
-award-winning author of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’
http://www.battleforthesoulofcanada.blogspot.com
p.s. In order to obtain a copy of the book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99CDN/USD.
-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide : Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada
You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide
My Will Be Done…
May 12, 2010
By Rev Ed Hird
The only thing worse than not getting your own way is actually getting it! Being both successful and miserable is one of life’s worst curses. You may remember the famous song “I Did It My Way”. There is something inside all of us that wants to do things our own way, that doesn’t like to be controlled by others. But getting my own way too often usually means winning the battle but losing the war, winning the argument but losing the intimacy, winning the contract but losing the friendship. It is legendary how many good business friendships have been sacrificed on the altar of corporate success.
Intimacy and Control
All of us need close friendships, but too often our task orientation leaves us feeling detached. All of us, if married, need intimacy and vulnerability in our marriages, but our desire to “have our own space” can leave us feeling very empty and alone. All of us, if parents, want joyful, open relationships with our children, but our fear to “loosen the reins a bit” when appropriate can often drive them far away. All of us want closeness and caring in our relationships, but our need to do it our way so often leaves us in the H.A.L.T. position (H.A.L.T. – hungry, angry, lonely or tired). At such times, we are particularly vulnerable to discouragement, to wondering what it’s all about. We may be saying to ourselves, “why beat myself to be successful and accomplish all these objectives if there is no one to share it with at a really intimate, caring level?” At such a point we realize in the words of the old 1960′s song that “Freedom Is Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose.”
Our Deepest Fear
Conference speaker Patrick Tomter said a while ago that our fundamental enemy is fear (fear of losing control). This is why we tend to say “My will be done” instead of the alternative “Thy will be done”.
Tomter believes that our mission in such situations is to identify the enemy (fear) and learn to embrace it, so that it becomes a tool for our growth. Embracing fear means to stop running from our fears and start accepting fear as part of ourselves. True friendships emerge when we finally accept the other just as they are, without preconditions or stipulations. To surrender our need for our own way is to finally stop, see and hear the other person for who they really are. There is no greater gift than to be truly listened to by someone who truly accepts and cares for you. That is why people have always been so attracted to Jesus, even if they couldn’t stand the church. They have sensed that here is a friend who truly understands, truly listens, and truly cares. Friendship is about giving our heart away to another. Friendship is about the willingness to not have our own way. Friendship is about being vulnerable enough to even let the one we love, hurt us without striking back.
That is what the world’s most famous individual did as he hung on an executioner’s cross in unspeakable agony and simultaneously said “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” If you feel led to pray the Lord’s prayer this week, remember that to pray “Thy will be done” is both the death of the need to get your own way and the birth of a new level of friendship. Friendship in life is our deepest need: Friendship with others, and with Jesus the Source of life.
My prayer is that those reading this article may experience a new depth and reality to their friendships in the days ahead.
By Rev Ed Hird
Heartfelt, non-critical listening is a rare phenomenon in our fast-paced, analytical culture. Listening takes time. Listening takes energy. Listening takes courage. To be honest, it often seems a lot easier just to give them chocolates. Most of us as men know that we need to grow in the area of listening.
you tell me?” “Well, Ed”, she said, “You weren’t listening”. Sadly, she was right. One of the dangers of listening to women is that we just might hear something that we don’t want to hear. Our equilibrium may be so unsettled that it will take us quite a while to recover.
Another danger of listening to women is that we might have to change. None of us like being controlled. We certainly don’t like being treated like children by the key women in our lives. Sometimes we confuse our fear of change with our fear of being controlled. Without change, there is no growth. Without change, there is no future. I have found that if I am willing to change the things that I can change (which is me), then the rest of life begins to make more sense.
block out parts of conversations that make us feel uncomfortable. Ever wonder why women get so irritated with us, as so many men are forever flicking on the TV channel changer. This filtering ability can make men look like their memories are extremely selective. As the old saying goes, the problem with men is that they never remember, and the problem with women is that they never forget.
their actions, and ourselves by our good intentions. That is why Jesus challenged each of us to first remove the log from our eyes, before we try to do surgery on the splinter in someone else’s eye.
the women when they shared about the risen Jesus? Not in your life. Like so many of us men today, they wrote off the women’s stories as “old wives’ tales”.
edhird
